Ah, yes, these “it’s-sure-been-a-while” posts have certainly become the norm for me this past year but I’ll try not to make a habit of it from this point forward. The happy cliffnotes version of the Schulze clan’s most recent happenings include a move across the country to sunny California and a new baby BOY on the way (due December 1st). Sadly this year has not been full of happy occurrences as shortly after my last post I lost one of my closest friends, Kim. Her passing was sudden and one of the hardest things I’ve experienced in my life. I felt that I couldn’t continue to post my usual blog content without first addressing and honoring a person who so greatly influenced (and will continue to influence) my life, yet couldn’t quite find the words. So, nearly six months later in wake of being asked to write a memorial article for our ten year high school reunion I felt that I should use this opportunity to begin to express in words how much Kim’s life meant to me and how deeply I’ve felt her loss ever since her passing.
Kim was one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever know, so much of my creativity has been sparked with her in mind and there isn’t a day that passes that she isn’t in my thoughts. While the assumption tends to be that time heals emotional wounds this won’t necessarily hold true in the case of a loss as time can simply bring to light the permanence of a passing as you begin to live life as you would, just with a special piece missing. These last few months have brought so many exciting changes to my life (pregnancy, a move to California etc.) and with each phone call that I can’t make to her, with each passing birthday of her children, her loss becomes all the more permanent to me. While it isn’t as if we spoke every day the fact that I know she is no longer a physical part of my life has me thinking about her constantly, longing to speak with her and full of sorrow for her family and the fact that she was a part of their every day lives and is now absent. I feel that by addressing my feelings just a little bit to whomever might be reading this, it helps me to keep her alive in my heart (in a happy way) and might help to give those who didn’t know her a just a little hint of just how much her life impacted those around her and what a truly amazing woman, mother, daughter, sister and friend this world is now without.
In loving memory of Kim (12/4/87-2/21/16)
Sometimes it’s hard to say what your heart feels. However, your words about Kim are beautiful and moving! I am so sorry.
Congratulations on the wonderful news about your pregnancy! Take care